Nice Guys Finish Last
Before Kaveman Kara was born, I took to social media to express my opinions. One day, I grew tired of my guy friends bitching about how girls continue to chase after jerks, so I decided to make an Instagram video in which I discussed why so many women are settling for less...
“We wait our whole lives for our prince charming, but we’re impatient, so we settle for what we think we deserve. Then we become comfortable with the person we’re with and even if they’re treating us like crap, we stay because we’re comfortable.”
Often, women date jerks because they fear there is nothing better for them and they stay with jerks out of comfort. This confuses men into thinking that being shitty is the key to a long relationship. The tricky part is that being a nice guy is not the simple solution. The key to finding your dream girl isn’t so easy when the phrase, “Nice guys finish last,” remains true.
I’m no expert, but I feel more knowledgeable about this topic, being a woman myself, knowing what women want, and having male best friends. My experiences have taught me that no woman wants a nice guy, but every woman deserves a respectful man. Below I will differentiate between the two:
1. The woman wins every argument
I have seen men turn into dogs for women, ditching boys’ nights, and letting their girl win every argument. A relationship is a partnership in which both people should equally contribute and respect themselves. If the man is too nice to defend his opinions, the woman will feel bored and unchallenged leading to a relationship that is mediocre at best. A nice guy does not defend himself usually because he does not respect himself, and if he doesn’t respect himself he can't be expected to respect his partner. Nice guys are too nice to defend themselves in the relationship and will almost always let their girl win the argument.
2. He can't be assertive for your sake
Nice guys don’t want to be mean to anyone, including someone who is bullying their girlfriend. Women are more than capable of defending themselves, however we deserve a partner that is reliable in times of crisis. If one partner is being bullied, it is the job of the other partner to have their back. Nice guys often back down from opportunities to defend their lady's honor.
1. Respect themselves
When a man respects himself, he places value on his opinions and therefore cannot let his girlfriend win every argument. A respectful man knows that what he has to contribute to the world is valuable, and equally, what he has to contribute to the relationship is valuable. A respectful man respects himself enough to defend his opinions and rarely give in during arguments.
2. Demonstrates chivalry
I had a teacher who offered his seat up to a woman on the train and she rejected his offer, deeming it a belittling form of sexism. Chivalry is dying but it is not completely dead. As I stated in my Instagram video, “Men are kings. Don’t you want a queen to sit with you on your throne?” Chivalry is defined as a combination of qualities like honor, courage, justice, courtesy and a readiness to help the weak. Men don’t need grand gestures of chivalry to get a woman, but a respectful man will make his woman feel like a queen and will not settle for a partner that does not make him feel like a king.
A final message from the Kaveman...
The goal of my blog is to include people of all sexualities and genders in every cave conversation. This article is based on my experience from heterosexual relationships. I’m not in a position to offer advice for same sex relationships because I have never been in one, but I will say that I believe every partnership flourishes on selflessness, respect and chivalry. I hope this article helps everyone have a deeper understanding of what is effective in relationships.